


How can you skate freely when you’re frozen with fear?

by evaricious



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, VictUuri, Victor’s POV, episode 7 rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 12:26:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8578504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaricious/pseuds/evaricious
Summary: On the morning of the Free Skate, Yuuri’s nerves threaten to trip him up. Victor watches helplessly as his every attempt to encourage and reassure Yuuri fails.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Episode 7 happened, and I have so many feelings rn, so here’s a rewrite from Victor’s perspective. Forgive any spelling/grammar errors. I will edit and fix when I stop crying.  
> Edited 19/11/16 to fix the spelling/grammar. Thank you to everyone who read it anyway; I blame overwhelming episode 7 feels for the mistakes.

Victor stared at the bags under Yuuri’s eyes. It was clear he hadn’t slept a wink all night. Well, he had been expecting that. After Yuuri’s phenomenal performance yesterday the pressure was on him like never before. He immediately sent him back to bed. Regardless of his state of mind, if he didn’t rest his body he’d have no chance out there. The routines Victor had written for Yuuri were physically demanding, tailored to the younger skater’s amazing stamina. He hoped this wouldn’t hurt his chances today. Flinging the blanket over him, Victor insisted that he sleep in, shushing his protests and assuring him that he wouldn’t let him miss the program.

 _This is not going to plan_ thought Victor, taking in Yuuri’s strained appearance several hours later. “Did you nap?” He asked, frowning as Yuuri insisted that he had, at least a little.

“Don’t attempt any jumps in your warm-up.” Victor told him as he sent him into the rink. Remembering how Yuuri had explained to him his disastrous last year, Victor knew that a tired and jittery Yuuri would mess up on a jump and not be able to recover. He would not let Yuuri down now, not when he had been doing so well.

He watched as Yuuri gained speed, stepping into a jump and falling flat on the ice. Victor stared for a moment, his brain catching up to his eyes. He groaned, face palming and lamenting the disobedient student he had been cursed with. A tiny, niggling thought that perhaps this was a feeling Yakov would understand swam to the surface, but he brushed the thought away.

He told Yuuri not to mind, that just because he missed the jump in practice didn’t mean he’d miss the jump later when it mattered. He lead him away to continue to stretch, offering platitudes that would have calmed his nerves, still sure that he could fix this.

The program started, and Yuuri gravitated towards the TV, his fearful eyes wide and fixed on Guang-hong as the Chinese skater won the hearts of the crowd.

He frowned again when Yuuri switched off all the monitors. He watched as Yuuri fell into a chair, head in his hands and clearly freaking out. Dragging him back to his warm up, Victor encouraged him to just ignore it. _Just focus on your own routine. Don’t think about the other competitors._

Victor’s worst fears for today were coming true. He cast an eye over his student. Yuuri was at least stretching again but clearly still distracted. It occurred to him that if they went somewhere quieter, maybe the pressure on Yuuri’s nervous would lessen. This was just a form of performance anxiety, right? Surely this would work. _Now, where is the place with the least amount of people around?_

_The carpark. But I can still hear the crowds. With earplugs Yuuri should be able to relax in peace though._

“Victor, what are the current standings?” Yuuri’s worried voice spurred Victor to life as he waved off his question, encouraging him to just breathe deeply and relax.

It seemed to work. Yuuri, ear plugs in, stepped through his choreography. He was still pale, but he had a look of determination that was reassuring.

Victor was distracted by the loud cheers of the stands above. Someone had clearly done well upstairs. He frowned, turning back to watch Yuuri. He started in surprise when he realised Yuuri had stopped to listen too.

He flinched as Yuuri reacted to the cheers, his eyes wide and fearful. Victor was starting to feel panicked now. He had tried everything that would have helped him. Why wasn’t it working on Yuuri? Why couldn’t he just take a deep breath and relax?

“Don’t listen!” Victor shouted, covering Yuuri’s ears with his own hands. The earplugs fell to the ground, forgotten. It was no use. Victor didn’t understand why Yuuri was so worked up. He had done so well yesterday. Everyone knew he could do it. _How can I motivate Yuuri? I have no idea._

Victor watched Yuuri’s pained expression; he had seen it on competitor’s faces so many times before. The look of defeat was heartbreaking. Ice skating was heartbreaking. As skaters they bet everything on the ice, and so many failed. _Our hearts are so easy to break, like glass._ Everything he had tried to get Yuuri to relax had failed. _So what if I try to push him further?_

“Yuuri,” Victor called for his attention, pinning him with a stare.

“If you mess this up and fail to reach the podium, I’ll take responsibility and quit being your coach.”

Silence greeted his announcement. Had this been the right thing to do? Tears quickly spilled from Yuuri’s eyes, and Victor immediately tried to take it back. He apologised over Yuuri’s scolding, but Yuuri wasn’t finished.

“I’m used to failing on my own! I’m worried because this time I’d also be failing you!”

Victor was not prepared for this. He had been shouted at before, sure. Yakov was quick with a lecture and didn’t mince words. But he’d never been cried at before. He was so out of his depth he couldn’t even think straight. Words were forming and falling from his mouth but he knew they were the wrong ones. _I don’t know what to say to him._

“Should I kiss you or something?” He was floundering. Yuuri was glaring at him through shiny tears.

“No!”

Victor flinched as Yuuri’s lecture continued.

“You don’t have to say anything!”

_But then what am I supposed to do?_

“You just have to believe that I can win, more than I do!”

_But I already do!_

“Just stay close to me!”

Victor’s eyes went wide. Yuuri’s chest was heaving from his exertion. His tears had stopped flowing but his cheeks were still wet. Without words, Victor pulled him close, crushing him to his chest and willing Yuuri to believe that despite his clumsiness, that was exactly what Victor intended to do.

They returned to the rink without exchanging another word. Yuuri had told him he didn’t have to say anything, just stay by him, and as Victor gathered his thoughts this was exactly what he intended to do.

Yuuri had calmed down considerably since his outburst. Considering everything that Victor had tried today had gone wrong, he was more than willing to take Yuuri’s advice. For the first time since their journey began, he wondered if maybe he’d been unfair to Yuuri. He’d never coached before. Never had to take into consideration someone else’s feelings. Maybe he should have asked Yakov for some advice?

 _No,_ he thought. _I don’t have to say anything._

As he reached out to take the tissues from Yuuri, Yuuri pulled back and they dropped towards the ice. Victor reacted on autopilot, leaning down to catch them. He jumped in surprise when he felt a finger touch his head; Yuuri hadn’t looked him in the eye since their exchange in the carpark, and now he was patting his head like he was Makkachin!

Silently, he held his hand to his head, watching as Yuuri took his position and the music started.

To his surprise, Yuuri seemed relaxed. His movements were flowing and in perfect time with the music. As he turned, Victor could see he was even smiling.

Yuuri landed his first jumps, and Victor allowed himself the small victory. Before, it would have been an important milestone. A failure on the first jump had sent Yuuri into a spiral of despair before.

But there was something different about Yuuri today. His movements were growing in confidence, yes, but more than that _Yuuri is still smiling._

As he landed the tricky Quad Salchow, Victor couldn’t help his victorious cry of “Perfect, Yuuri!”

He watched breathlessly as Yuuri continued to build in confidence. He wasn’t landing everything, but his smile hadn’t wavered. Covering his eyes momentarily as Yuuri recovered from his over-rotation, Victor shook it off. He was going to watch him til then end.

His shock grew as Yuuri continued, and he couldn’t stop staring open-mouthed as Yuuri, his quiet, emotionally reserved Yuuri, changed the last jump from a quadruple toe loop to a quad flip.

Victor gaped as he watched Yuuri pick himself up from the landing. Dimly he was aware of the announcer. His own thoughts echoed the words _signature move_. The sounds of the cheering crowd around him was receding as time seemed to slow to a crawl.

_Did he just..?_

_Did he really just do that?!_

Yuuri finished the routine with a flourish, his arm pointing towards Victor and his face a mixture of happiness and pride.

For a moment he could only stare. This was worlds away from his performance in Japan. Yuri on Ice was about Yuuri’s career, the music and the choreography crafted to tell that story. Victor slapped his hands over his face. It was too much.

Yuuri had changed the components he had been given to tell the story himself. He had taken a piece of Victor and added it to the end.

Suddenly the volume was turned back up. Thrown back into the present, Victor’s mind was racing. He wanted to show Yuuri how proud he was of him. He wanted him to know that he had watched him and finally understood.

Most of all he wanted to surprise Yuuri, to knock him off his feet like he had just done to Victor.

_How do I repay that?_

And suddenly he knew exactly what to do.

He took off running for the gate. Nothing mattered except reaching Yuuri. Stopping to catch his breath, he smiled as Yuuri skated towards him.

“Victor! I was great, wasn’t I?” Yuuri stood tall and proud, and Victor felt his heart swell at the sight.

With a smile, he stood up.

And launched himself at Yuuri. It was just like the leap Yuuri had made the last time he had performed this routine. Only this time, no one was ducking out of the way.

Victor closed his arms around Yuuri, one hand raised to protect his head. He watched Yuuri’s eyes go wide as he drew him closer and pressed their lips together in a kiss.

They hit the ice a moment later as the stadium reacted around them. Victor felt Yuuri’s hands on his back, returning his embrace as they parted to stare at each other.

“This was the only thing I could think of to surprise you more than you’ve surprised me.” He told him, smiling at Yuuri’s blushing face.

The crowd was exploding around them as Victor helped pull Yuuri to his feet. As Yuuri received his silver medal, Victor watched from the sidelines, chest tight and bursting with pride.

This morning he had thought that he was the only one who could take Yuuri out of himself and make him skate with confidence, but as he and the stadium applauded, he knew that today had been Yuuri’s victory.

He had picked himself up out of the fears that mired him and held him back.

And in every way, he was surpassing Victor’s wildest expectations.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve got so many other things I should be doing, why am I like this? Send help.


End file.
